a week ago i made my neighbour a tiny ladder
repayment for a kindness
left it by his door on the step

this morning it remains
where i placed it

perhaps he has not seen
it yet

or other things

thanks for your remote offer of help and support

the bike is free from storage & on the courtyard
washed and fiddled with
the pump is nowhere to be found
while the other one don’t fit

so except for a permitted trip to durham to buy one
i am buggered

the brakes is stuck
i need some oil

it will all wait a while

sat on it and maybe i shrunked

is been stored for 23 years
the other
the blue one i had since 17

blimey

so they look ferocious little fellers
guess we are all just trying to survive

i listened to a podcast and even that
virus thing needs the same and would
have learned more if i had not fell to

sleep
james

i just fell to sleep
from all the tasks
communications
& emotions of

another day
staying at home

on my own

walking i have found a house
that stands alone with a proper
garden with chickens you know
rather wild and rambling

i like the position yet know i belong
here, love it here. will hide away today

no drive anywhere to test my eyesight

steady like

oh james i have done that thing again
wishing for something i may already have

my old bike is in the outbuilding left there
some time
yet
i have a bicycle repair kit

as

i like to collect them

i understand there may be some grant soon
for fixing

i know how to oil as my brothers showed me
fastidiously and bossy

and something with spoons to remove the tyres

to balance it upside down on the handlebars

and saddle

what is to lose and it may be fun as the other

jobs have been here

oh dear you should of heard me yesterday
when he remarked
in surprise

you can dig a pond!
you can saw wood!

i replied i can as i am a person too

i did not add that in his mind i may not do them well
in my mind it works
for me

i gave him a bucket of stones

yesterday i made the hedgehog house with pallette
wood and twigs of course

the twigs that is

it kind of sorted itself out
now in comfort i will unpick
it to form it in a more controlled manner

my brother suggests i take the bike to durham
to be fixed as that may now be permissable

i think it is more fun just to stay at home james

tidily

another good number pleases me
as do the images

you are a dark horse
rather like louis

maybe you will do some more

i like this type of work from the heart
a quiet day yesterday planting and
fiddling the wildlife pool
sitting after to reflect

the head came later
while i could not
bear to watch the
briefing

it is all so unfair

slept for one hundred years
with classic lockdown dreams

now refreshed
carry on
james

we carry on
keeping the rules here

day started heavy as those adults used to say back then

i never understood

we had a storm, wind and some rain, now all hangs dark

and quiet

today i will repot the blown plants and tidy

do you write music? i like that you sent very

much

and will research more

the ride sounds divine, all that power

freedom and names of roads that come

lovely

here we made another ladder and now

i have too many

drew some pictures

and continued making the wildlife pond

i think i had been brainwashed into thinking

that some tasks were impossible yet find

i can do them after all

maybe i washed my brain myself

and now have got it back james

i ask again james are you a musician

do you sing while you ride the roads

over there

some of us obey the rules while it seems

that those who helped make them do not

birds and willow at the window

ate the last banana
not feeling good as
i did so

crossed them from the shopping list
and went to bed early

all well today and with another stormy
day forecast may leave the digging for
settled weather

the patch is under the big old oak which
flaps wildly in this wind

i became slightly nervous looking up
at it
retreated to the studio

it will be a wildlife place
for the wildlife here

she used messenger to tell me
her messenger was not working

we sorted it by phone james

while writing i stop to look at
the light on the leaves, the light
outside

yesterday

i went outside to the garage
for fuel
in case of emergency
i like at least 2 bars
showing

wore my surgical gloves with pride
i don’t get out much these days

vivaldi helps

late spring
early summer

looking at the old bananas here yesterday
decided to make cake
rather than waste them

looks for a recipe
oh yes that will
do with oil

so bung the mashed bananas in the bowl
three with equal eggs
to find i have no oil

another recipe with margarine
when i only have spread…..ok

oh no, it states only
2 bananas
2 eggs

too late

this one is in metric
my scales are in imperial

another recipe
by then is all in the bowl

when i reads to cream the marg and sugar
too late i just bash the lot together and throw
in sultanas for luck

with the big silver spoon

lucky me

my oven is hot electric fan
the book goes gas, so guessing

works and that thing with a knitting needle

all came good, my first cake to eat for ten weeks
buns don’t count in this house

first cake made for years
to adhere to lockdown urban rules

ate with cream of course
then carried on with ladders

there was a storm in the night
water seeped through the bathroom
roof light
soaked the tissue

it is drying out on the radiator

james

no planes yesterday

seems soon to me
i have been isolated
ten weeks now and
waiting for news

from our first minister
not the prime minister

for we are another country

especially in this house
where all come quiet the
piano playing

where we come kind & welcoming

i wonder if i will go back
or draw a line on the madness

i talk to him regular about it and
he will like me to stay of course

who else will look after him not
throw him away

who else will mend his dress or
wash his pyjamas james

it was a joke
now comes serious

she said i can borrow her bike
she is taller than me james

so i fixed the water butt and down pipe
cussing the one that came before and
left it scrappy

got hot talked it through with logic

a professional would rubbish the work
which seems to work

so far james

so far we have come
tomorrow i have a small celebration here alone

i wrote it down and refered to it later in the day

eggs over easy?

light rain

oh james i love this excitement
how we have become vocal with
few to hear

do you whoop and holler like
i do, do you laugh as the wind
goes by
as the smoke rises?

joy came yesterday up over the house

quietly choosing twigs by tone and colour
looked to the noise
dark with propellers it flew over low enough
to see cockpit clear
i turned to see it go
shouting up

happy and happy that earlier i saw the swallow
on the wire outside

happy that all the rubbish burned
that the farmer will fetch me an old
car tyre

that the water butt is tight and tidy

now i shout and do not care who may hear
me

make my ladders
and will put one in
the neighbour’s post
box next tuesday
early

those that are kind to me

i asked her how far i walk each day
did she know
she said it was 253 miles james

do we believe her?

yes james it is a small white stone
colour so pure you can feel it

now the cotton creeps in the foreground

how do you know
about the prices here?

i find most things reasonable
yet then i don’t want much

like we shop in primarks for underthings
and overstuff

food comes in small prices
what i eat does anyhow

moving on
as you are now with the electrics

while mine are acting up in the outbuilding
and is all under discussion and research
out in the lane

he strimmed it severely then talked
to me kindly until she came out
with a broken zip
so they went in for tea

i killed the hedge i had hated
for 27 years then came quiety
inside smiling

i clear the debris today
james

they say it will rain
she said it is like glitter floating in the air

that it will die out

do you believe all the things you hear james
are you happy out there cycling along

i hope so
i like to think of it so

my times are up side over now james
while others sleep
do other things

i made another ladder
everyday i make a ladder
now

green by the window

do you see the pattern so soon
do you see how we leave one set
of rules only to find another

this may have happened here
so we rest a while regroup move
forward slowly

like the metal soldiers
found in the button box
yesterday

bent, broken yet i straighten their
legs

and play again

i am real glad that your bike came
that it is all together and you are zooming
well

i imagine up over hills through the woods
you describe wind chasing your hair

can i come?

on the crossbar if there is one
or the handlebars
we did that as kids

or as tiny in your pocket james

i still dream of one james
yesterday the lane was busy

so i just walk along
moving to the nettles
as they pass

spurred on with your comment
i made another ladder james

while my neighbour tidied her lavender
edging

quietly